Sunday, November 23, 2008

Mangled Sayings

The women in my family are known for mangling sayings and proverbs. I keep meaning to make a list of these so we'll remember them, but I never have. Today, I added a new one to the list so I'm going to actually make a permanent list here on my blog.

We are also a family that endlessly repeats our favourite quotes from The Simpsons, Police Squad, Fawlty Towers, and the like. I might make a post for those some day, but for today, it's the screwed-up sayings.

Said by me:
  • "This one just bit the farm." (combo of 'bite the dust' and 'bought the farm') (this is today's gem)
  • "We're behind the gun on this one." ('under the gun' and 'behind the eight ball')
  • And my all-time classic, said at a buffet after I took way too much food... "I guess my eyes are bigger than my head."
Said by my mother:
  • "What's the name of that movie... it's a question. I think it's 'can you believe it?' " (actual movie title: What Lies Beneath)
  • There was a commercial in which a dull-sounding man says, "It's made me the party animal I always knew I could be." Mom's version? "It's made me the animal party I always knew I could be."
  • Ironically, while we were teasing her for something else, "I'm being mis-aligned here!" (Do you mean 'maligned', perchance?)
Said by my younger sister:
  • My latest book includes a reference to "don't look a gift horse in the mouth". While reading this, she called and asked Mr. W to finish the sentence "don't ___ a gift horse in the mouth". He, of course said 'look'. She was absolutely convinced it was 'kick'.
  • This one was my fault, and isn't quite the same but it's funny so here it is. I was on an instant-messaging session with her and our youngest sister. Youngest and I are quite tech-oriented. YoungER, not so much. (Ack, they need nicknames. OK, younger shall be known as Lexi and youngest as Newt, after their cats). Poor Lexi was falling behind as Newt and I typed far too fast for her. I typed, "The problem's between your chair and keyboard." A good minute later, she says, "Hey! That's me!"

There are definitely more of these (I said another one yesterday but have since forgotten it) but this is at least a start.

My youngest sister, to my knowledge, doesn't mangle sayings like this, but I'll keep an eye on her and if she starts I'll add 'em. :)

This does appear to be a female thing in my family: my dad and brother say stupid things (a LOT) but not in this fashion. However, just to complicate things, my paternal grandmother once called a train station to ask what time the five o'clock train would be leaving. So, the siblings and I got it from both sides, apparently.

I intend to send this on to the family mailing list (we have a Yahoo! group - that's nerdy, right? Guess who started it? :) and see if anyone remembers any other gems!

Heather

6 comments:

Diana said...

My mom does this too. My favorite being when she told my dad to, "stop breathing down my throat about it!"

Jennifer said...

LOL! My family's not like that, but I personally have a heck of a time remembering people's names, and I'll swear someone's name is Steve when it's Tom or something...

Bethany said...

How about Mom being misaligned? (maligned)

Heather Wardell said...

I forgot misaligned, I can't believe it! :)

Diana, that's hilarious!

Jennifer, my mother breeds dogs, and as a kid (and still now sometimes), I'd get, "Kayla, I mean Jody, I mean Ashley, I mean Tara, I mean HEATHER!"

:)

Riohnna said...

LOL, those are pretty cool

Lauria @ Brackenbury Lane said...

My family says weird things like these all the time! My husband and I are very purposefully silly and will say all the wrong things, or will pretend that we don't understand what something means and go off on a tangent of what it kind of sounds like.

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