Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Aardvark's first scene!

I'm thrilled with this and want to share. :)

I spent over an hour today revising just these few paragraphs, but I think they're doing what I want now. I'm glad to know, from past books, that the first scenes are always the slowest for me, or I might be anticipating a completion date for Aardvark of somewhere around the year 3000!

Here it is!
Chapter One

My eyes open to a blurred whiteness, and I blink until it resolves itself into the airbag beneath my cheek. Images rush into my mind, scrambled snapshots of my car skidding off the icy road and plunging down into trees and darkness, and I jerk upright and grab for the door handle.

Huge mistake. My stomach lurches below my mile-a-second heart and my brain spins in all directions at once.

I collapse onto the airbag and take slow deliberate breaths to force back the panic and nausea. In, hold, out, hold, repeat. At first it dizzies me even more but I persist, counting the breaths in my head and focusing on the numbers, and begin to regain my much-needed control.

Once I reach twenty, I cautiously sit up and run my mind over my body, assessing the situation. My head's not spinning any more, and my pounding heart and churning stomach are settling down. Nothing else is clamoring for my attention.

Relief fills me, soothing my insides even more, along with amazement at my luck. I could have been badly hurt, but I've escaped without a scratch. Not wanting to spend another second in the car, I undo my seatbelt then open my door and swing my legs around to get out.

Unbearable pain rips through my left leg, and the whiteness rises to claim me again.
Would you keep reading? Drop me a note if you have comments! :)