Aardvark's first scene!

I'm thrilled with this and want to share. :)

I spent over an hour today revising just these few paragraphs, but I think they're doing what I want now. I'm glad to know, from past books, that the first scenes are always the slowest for me, or I might be anticipating a completion date for Aardvark of somewhere around the year 3000!

Here it is!

Chapter One

My eyes open to a blurred whiteness, and I blink until it resolves itself into the airbag beneath my cheek. Images rush into my mind, scrambled snapshots of my car skidding off the icy road and plunging down into trees and darkness, and I jerk upright and grab for the door handle.

Huge mistake. My stomach lurches below my mile-a-second heart and my brain spins in all directions at once.

I collapse onto the airbag and take slow deliberate breaths to force back the panic and nausea. In, hold, out, hold, repeat. At first it dizzies me even more but I persist, counting the breaths in my head and focusing on the numbers, and begin to regain my much-needed control.

Once I reach twenty, I cautiously sit up and run my mind over my body, assessing the situation. My head's not spinning any more, and my pounding heart and churning stomach are settling down. Nothing else is clamoring for my attention.

Relief fills me, soothing my insides even more, along with amazement at my luck. I could have been badly hurt, but I've escaped without a scratch. Not wanting to spend another second in the car, I undo my seatbelt then open my door and swing my legs around to get out.

Unbearable pain rips through my left leg, and the whiteness rises to claim me again.

Would you keep reading? Drop me a note if you have comments! :)

A writing update

I don't think of this blog as being exclusively about my writing, because I myself am not exclusively about my writing. But I do like to occasionally make it clear that I am still writing.

So here's where we're at.

The book code-named "Aardvark" is finished in its second draft. I, frankly, adore it. It was uncooperative at times, but that's because it resonates with me in a way nothing else has so far. In it, a woman's car slides off a deserted icy road leaving her trapped and bleeding, and between escape attempts she comes to realize she's focused her life on everything except what really matters. I love the character and the realizations she finds, and so far the people who've read it (my sister, my friend TS and Mr. W) seem to agree.

I will be beginning the final revisions on Aardvark next week. I am both excited and nervous: I have some fears that I'll mess this up because I really care about it, but I think that my care for it will also make sure I don't go too far afield.

I have also been looking for the next book, Blueberry. (In case you want to keep track, the next one will be codenamed Cookie, and the next Dragonfly. Mr. W gets to choose the codenames... he was gunning for Dodecahedron for the D name but I refused on the grounds that I have to think too hard when I type it.)

I had a great story coming together for Blueberry, deep and interesting and moral and all that. Unfortunately, it's not MY story. Dean Koontz or Stephen King could do it justice (and if they want it they're welcome to email me :) but it just isn't the kind of thing I want to tell. And I have recognized that and set it aside, which was nervewracking because I'd spent well over a month on it and what if I didn't find another one?

Well, I did. The new Blueberry involves Kegan from my free book "Life, Love, and a Polar Bear Tattoo" (go download it if you haven't already :), but it's not really a follow-up to "Polar Bear". It's just singing for me now and I love it. So I'll be editing Aardvark and working on Blueberry's outline and I'll be busier than the proverbial one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest (which saying always makes me wonder a) why'd he want to enter the contest and b) why would ANYONE enter the contest??) and I think I will be loving the whole thing.

I'm lucky enough to have a job I love. I even love the parts that make me twitchy and insane. (More insane.) Very lucky.

And now, off to bed to let my mind wander through Blueberry and see what happens. (I only track "writing time" when I'm actually at the desk, but all the good stuff arrives when I'm half asleep. Yet another of the mysteries of this job!)

Gimme oxygen!

There's a bad cold going around. It's bad. It's a hoodlum cold.

I haven't been sick for a long time, and I only realize that now that I AM sick and it feels so unusual. I will spare you the details, but let's just say my head hurts and my planned running workout isn't going to happen!

I am progressing well on Raoul's revision despite my stuffed-up head: passed the 50% mark yesterday!

Aardvark, on the other hand, is not going so well. I know what happens and why, and I can hear her voice. What's causing me trouble, then?

a) I'm afraid it'll be too short b) I'm afraid it won't sell.

I KNOW I shouldn't be worrying about either of those things at this stage, but I am. I love the concept of this book and the issues I am exploring, and I guess I'm almost wanting to keep it as a "sideline project" that I write entirely for me with no intent of selling. Once it's done, I could of course try to sell it, but in my head there's a difference between "book I'll sell when it's done" and "book I'm writing because it's exploring stuff I need answers to, and when it's done we'll see what we have".

The problem is that this has all come up this week, and my head is not in 100% working order. (Relative to usual, I mean. :) So I'm not sure whether I'm just feeling the "it's stinkin' hard to write a first draft" blues or whether I'm on to something.

I have an idea for a different book instead of the current Aardvark, and I might start exploring that a bit, but I don't want to ditch Aardvark and I really don't want to be writing/editing three books at once.

It's times like this I wish I had an agent. I'd love to have someone in the business take an objective look at what I have and what I'm planning and say, "I think you should do X". Maybe someday!

Until that happens, though, I have to do what feels right to me. And I think that might just be making Aardvark a "secret project" and beginning to explore the new idea.

But not until next week when my head clears. :)

Heather

If you're happy with your aardvark, clap your hands!

Clap-clap.

I've been very quiet here lately. I have been reading all my usual blogs and even commenting occasionally, but I haven't felt the need to post myself. In this case, that's a good sign, because my energy and focus has been on planning for my next novel, code-named Aardvark. (Weird, yes, but a cool word!)

This afternoon, I'll start the book's first draft.

I am excited and nervous about this. Both for the same reasons, really... because things ALWAYS change from my outlines and because it's such an undertaking to write a novel. I look at the polished text of the previous ones and find it so hard to believe that at some point I was here with them too, with a collection of outlines and notes and nothing more.

But I was, and I have faith that in the not-too-distant future I will be here with the next book, looking back at the polished text of Aardvark (which by then will have a title, I hope!) and wondering how it all happened.

So, here is the basic summary of Aardvark's plot. This is unlike anything I've ever written before and I am thrilled to bits about that because how will I get better if I don't try something I've never done before? It could be a glorious success or an equally glorious failure, but either way, it'll be glorious. :)

Thirty-something Rhiannon is an obsessive planner and goal-setter, but somehow nothing she achieves ever seems good enough to her. Determined to lose forty pounds for her best friend's August wedding, Rhiannon flees her parents' house in a Christmas-day blizzard to avoid the temptation of all her favorite foods, but her car skids off the deserted road into a tree.

Unable to escape the car, with her leg trapped and bleeding and her cell phone out of reach, Rhiannon is at first certain she'll be rescued and writes notes to her friends and family to pass the time. As the weather cools and her condition deteriorates, though, she recognizes the possibility that her life might be over. Interspersed with increasingly desperate escape attempts, her letters become deeper and more heart-felt as she comes to see what really matters in life.

If you've spent more than five minutes reading this blog in the past, you'll see that a lot of what Rhiannon's struggling with are my issues as well. That's exactly what I wanted: to try to write answers I don't have for the questions I care about. I can't wait to see how this all works out!

A brief Val update: Val is doing great! No longer just eyeballs and a fin, Val now has eyeballs (good, right?), a body, and a back fin. He's maybe twice as big as he was before, and I've seen him eating the crushed flake food I've put into the breeding trap for him. Yay, Val! Yay, Aardvark!

Yay! Now, time for lunch, the gym, and a trip to Starbucks where I'll start writing Aardvark!

Aardvarks aweigh!

(I want to say 'away' but it's spelled properly in the title. :)

I sent out the first wave of query letters for Raoul (which I should get used to calling "Go Small or Go Home", I suppose) on Saturday, and today was the first day in a while on Aardvark. I know what the main character needs to learn and I have a few significant plot points.

But I don't know how it ends.

It's weird. I have 31 pages of single-spaced typed notes, just my ramblings about the story and the characters and what could happen and what could not happen, but I don't know how it ends.

The wonderful thing, at this point, is that I'm not bothered by that. I had a dreadful time coming up with Raoul's plot, as I think I've mentioned here before, because I was so obsessed with "must have a plot right now, right this second, don't take any time to think about it, the schedule says it'll be done tomorrow so get on it hurryhurryhurry". I did eventually find what became Raoul, but I broke at least two good ideas by fighting too hard to make them something.

You can't take a seed and drag the plant out of it. The plant has to grow in its own time. And Aardvark is growing. I'll give it the time it needs, by being with it every work day and working through my various plot exercises and developing its characters, and I know it'll reward me with a book at the end.

And I can't wait to read it. :)

I love the support, bloggy types!

I posted my Thursday update and then wandered off, and came back to such lovely support! Thank you so much, I truly appreciate the concern. :)

Now, I do have an unfortunate tendency to be too hard on myself. Very true, well spotted. However, this diet is actually working against that tendency, not with it, and I think I should have explained it better when I posted it.

Monday to Friday the rules are no sweets, no snacks, no seconds. That's intended to be a hard line, beyond which one does not cross. On weekends and holidays, though, those things are no longer against the rules.

As I work through the days with this, I'm beginning to really get why the rules are the way they are. When you eat only three meals in a day, you really pay attention to them. I'm naturally finding myself eating more fruits and vegetables, just because not having them on the plate just looks wrong. I ate some Christmas cookies this weekend, and a few chocolates, which is perfectly acceptable and I enjoyed them. Even better, I found myself not stuffing in more even though I know I won't get them until next weekend, because I'm used to one meal and then stopping eating.

Have I lost weight? I think so but I'm not sure as I'm not weighing myself. I do feel a little smaller in spots. But what's better is that I feel better. So that rocks.

So it's discipline for the regular days and freedom on the other days. That's why I wasn't able to say that I did Thursday 'right', because I broke the rule. But I do know that as rule-breaking goes, it's barely visible without a microscope, and by no means did I beat myself up for it. :)

I've been off-line this weekend, just for a nice change. This coming week was supposed to be another "one Aardvark a day week" but it won't be.

BECAUSE I HAVE MY AARDVARK! :) I had a weird dream Thursday night and woke up all freaked out, and just as I started to go back to sleep I realized the dream was my Aardvark, and that's it. :) And I know for sure it's the one I want to pursue because a) I don't want to talk about it at all (even Mr. W knows nothing more than "it's about that weird dream I had"), b) I keep imagining scenes, c) I can HEAR her, hear how she sees her world.

Interesting question to ponder: would the Aardvark dream have happened had I not been putting weeks into working on Aardvarks already? I suspect not so much.

I am SO far behind on reading my blogs it's not even funny. I apologize wholeheartedly. I miss you guys! :)

First two lines of "Raoul" being critiqued!

I submitted the first two lines to the blog "Miss Snark's First Victim" (explanation available at the blog if you wonder WTH that means). So far, the posters like it!

Some really neat stories getting started there. Mine is at http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2008/12/f2s-53.html - from there you can also look at the others, should you feel so inclined.

I didn't post yesterday. Didn't have nothin' to say. :)

I have two new Aardvark ideas, both of which I quite like. We're up to 7 now, I think. Not bad... 7 potential novels!

First ever meme!

I was tagged by Tangletale, and I must admit to a ridiculous amount of excitement. Someone tagged me. ME. I got picked. :)

This does NOT mean for everyone and their cat to tag me, okay? :)

Anyhoo, here 'tis.

The Rules:

1) Link to your tagger and list all these rules in your blog.

2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by including links to their blogs

4) Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

My Seven Facts
1) I have four tattoos, three of polar bears (lower back, right shoulder, right hip) and one a bracelet of twisted lines and a star.
2) I want to swim across Lake Ontario. Breaststroke. It'd take about 30 hours.
3) I believe I'm meant to be famous. So far, not so much. :)
4) I am a natural speed reader. I read Harry Potter 5 in just under 3 hours.
5) I far prefer wearing skirts. Last week, I bought the first pair of non-gym pants I've owned since somewhere around 2002. (Today, I bought a second pair. But I am still a skirts girl at heart.)
6) I have seriously low alcohol tolerance.
7) My favourite music is anything by Meat Loaf.

Now, for the tagging. I shall inflict this meme upon laughing purple goldfish, Lauria, Aimee, knittinggarden, Laux, stitchlily, and Jennifer. As tangletale said, it's a good quick NaBloPoMo post if you're in need of one! And I have now commented on each of the above blogs to inform my victims of their tagging. I am finished with my first meme. Go, me. :)

A brief note re Aardvark. Today, it broke into two stories. Fine, you do that, babe, I don't mind.

Starting idea: support group for people with the same name as celebrities - maybe they start getting murdered?

Two possible stories:

1) a psychologist had her face viciously scarred because her then boyfriend wouldn't pay his gambling debts. Her clients couldn't bear to look at her, so she started an online counseling service so people wouldn't need to see her. She has a new client, who knows far too much about the details she never told anyone about the attack on her. Is it her ex-boyfriend? Her assailant? Or someone else? And why is this person reaching out to her?

2) a celebrity gossip columnist named Brittany Spears learns that a lot of people with the same name as a celebrity are being murdered around the world. When she meets, and begins to fall for, a Mr. Michael Jackson, she's afraid he'll be next and tries to understand what, besides their famous names, the victims have in common.

I'm enjoying this process. So far none of them are clear winners, but that's okay.

Tomorrow, there'll be a new one!

Oh, Aardvark, you're so weird

I honestly don't plan to post them all, but I'm doing it again today. This is partly because I think it'll be neat to re-read them later once I've actually picked which idea becomes Aardvark, partly because it illuminates how I, at least, think about my books, and also because it's a weird one.

Last night, Mr. W gave me my random number and I looked up the item, which read:

Dad's movie - ask questions or have people do things, but the movie shows a different question or activity request (e.g., C. running away to catch a football is really running to tip a cow)

Clear as mud, yes? Well, my father has rumbled a bit about making a movie starring all the family members. This is NOT a novel idea, it's a thought I had for his movie... you've probably seen those joke TV shows where they've interviewed celebrities, and then show their answers as if they'd actually asked a completely different question. (So, for example, they really asked the celebrity whether he prefers light or dark chocolate and he gives this big speech about how sometimes he's in the mood for dark but light tastes better to him, and then they show the interview and make it look like they asked him what kind of Jedi he'd be. That sort of goofy stuff.)

So anyhow, I protested, on the grounds that this wasn't a novel idea and shouldn't have been on the list. Mr. W suggested I try it out and see what I got. I wasn't going to, but then I thought about how the topic's really about being one thing on the surface and something completely different underneath, and that got me thinking about political speechwriters and how much lying they must have to do, and do they keep lying in their real lives...

While I still think that's cool, I dropped it about 10 minutes into the first work session today. :) Might pick it up at some point, but things veered VERY far away. I'm going to post an excerpt from my note file. This is a free-writing session, wherein I just keep typing and see what falls out. Sometimes I get a lot of "I'm tired, my fingers hurt", but not this time. I DID get a lot of typos; rest assured I actually know how to spell and punctuate. :)

Welcome to a tour of the inside of my head. Keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times, please. No poking at the brain cells! It's a scary place, but you'll make it out okay. Pity me - I LIVE in here. :)

This is a tough one! It's not really a story idea at all in the true sense. I could take it literally, and write a book about someone making a movie that's supposed to trap someone else or mislead people. Creating a propaganda film? Maybe working for a politician and making this film and realizing as she goes that she doesn't believe in what she's doing any more.

It needs a major twist, though. What if she's the politician, and the star of the movie? Or it's a documentary really. And the filmmaker is young and earnest and B isn't that way any more and wishes she was.

This feels over-done and stale. There's some way to make it NOT that way, though. How would people expect it to go down? The politician would eventually change her mind and probably quit her party and all that. What if she instead decided to suppress her doubts and go ahead with the party line? It's kinda big-brother-like. But that doesn't mean it's bad necessarily. The guy in 1984 thinks he's happy at the end, but of course he's just completely brainwashed. What if my girl decides she's doing more good things by being where she is than bad things?

Or not a politician. Maybe the head of a huge company. First woman CEO in some industry. And while she comes to believe that her company's bad, she can also see where it's doing some good.
Ok, fine. Now try another route. Something completely different. How else can what you see on the surface not be what's underneath? Someone hiding from who they really are. A gay woman pretending to be straight? A straight woman pretending to be gay? Why would she do that? Believes in the cause and wants to help them? Hates men for some reason? She'd get found out at some point... she wouldn't be able to date men, and even if she was supposedly friends with one she wouldn't be able to do more than be friends. I'd need a really good reason why she's pretending and an unexpected way out of the situation.

I don't know what else to put. I need to keep typing during these - no distractions! I will do it for another 5 minutes without a single stop in my typing there has to be another way that what you see on the surface isn't what's real. It happens all the time. Beauty pageants, high school, other things, I can't think of other things. Where else? Cosmetic surgery, job interviews... someone who's been faking for so long she's not even sure what real means any more.

Who would be like that? A model, maybe, who's pretending to like stuff she really doesn't. an actress who hates acting. But she could quit. Maybe not, if it's something she always swore she'd do. Hard to give in.

I still want to do something around the female tendency to blame self. Is there a link here? Pretending to be someone you're not so that you don't show your vulnerabilities? Maybe. I think there's more, though. If you are vulnerable and you know it, that's one thing. I think this is about someone who no longer even knows who she is.

The classic one is the divorce and everything is suddenly so different from what you knew before. So I won't do that. What about the sudden stepmother? Maybe this is a woman who said she'd never have kids but now she's in love with a guy who has them.

Again, this isn't new. But nothing's new, really. It's up to me to decide how to make it different and exciting. What I want, though, is the core of it. Someone who so doesn't know who she is any more that she can be anything yoou want her to be.

A fantasy woman somehow. Who wouold that be? A model and actress, sure, but what else? Maybe a woman who, for once, stood up for herself when someone did something to her. And somehow it made the news and everyone was talking about it and her. And she doesn't know what it means and she doesn't know why she did it, but nobody wants to hear that so she ends up creating this elaborate story around it all and then she has to live it and be who she's made herself into, since she doesn't know who she really is.

Something like that subway shooter guy. She's always been something of a mouse and then someone does something and she just snaps and fights back. It'll turn out that the 'something' triggered something that happened to her way back... maybe she HASN'T always been a mouse, not really. Something big happened to her - or no, just something small but it ate away at her - something happened, anyhow, and it's just the last straw and she can't take any more.

Another bunch of pages ensued, largely driven by tarot cards, and in the end I have:

Bernadette, like many women, secretly believes the steady stream of minor abuses and rudeness she receives on a daily basis is her fault. One day, though, she sees a delicate young woman who reminds her of her late sister being harassed by a gang of young black men on the street and she can't bear it. She explodes and the men leave, but not before the whole incident has been captured on bystanders' cellphones.

The footage hits the Internet, making the white 250-pound Bernadette both a reluctant hero to millions of women and a valuable figurehead for any number of militant groups on both sides of race, gender, and size issues.

I have some solid ideas for how it ends, but I don't want to share 'em. There are distinct differences between how I felt about yesterday's results and how I feel about this one. Yesterday, I was DONE when I posted it... I haven't thought about it again. This one is still percolating, and I feel an excitement I didn't have after yesterday.

The biggest difference, though, is that I feel scared about sharing it with you. :) I didn't mind so much if people didn't like yesterday's, but today I do. NOW, that does NOT mean that if you don't like it you shouldn't tell me. I still want to know what people think, or else I wouldn't post. It just means that this one has touched me in a way yesterday's didn't, and that's a very good sign.

I've never tried coming up with two book ideas two days in a row, and I'm delighted that it is apparently possible for me to do so. I want a career, and a long career, in novel-writing, and for that to work I need to be able to come up with the ideas when I need them. I'm seeing that I can, and I love it.

That being said, I'm takin' tomorrow off. :) I have a dentist appointment in the morning, which is supposed to be to fix two cracked teeth and one small cavity. Unfortunately, the day before we left on vacation I SHATTERED one of the teeth (seriously, it's like a quarter gone), so I don't exactly know how this appointment'll go. So I'll spend the afternoon doing whatever feels reasonable and doable. If I'm okay after the appointment, I'll clean the house. If I'm somewhat okay, I'll probably polish up Life, Love, and a Polar Bear Tattoo in preparation for making it available for free download. If I feel grim, I'll be on the couch with my crocheting watching some movie I've already seen a hundred times. :)

But regardless, I gots two Aardvarks, and that ain't half bad! So, let me know... a) do you like this Aardvark and b) is it better/worse/the same as yesterday's?

Heather

Aardvark 1

I don't intend to post all of these every day, so don't worry. Today's just kind of neat because I didn't know if this would really work out.

My quasi-random number generator (AKA Mr. W shouting out a number) told me to work with item #76 on my 90-item-long list of book ideas. This idea consisted of:

a woman is an unexpected gold medalist at the Olympics and must deal with the changes in her life.

Not exactly specific, is it? No sport information, no details on changes... and I think this might be one of my MORE-detailed entries. Hmm. :)

Anyhoo, I started to play with it. My favourite techniques are a) free-writing (just keep typing and see what falls out), b) making a list of words related to the story, then picking one of those words and building a new list off it, then picking another word... and c) tarot cards. (This one needs some explanation - essentially I think of a question, like "how does she want this to work out?", draw a card, write down what the card looks like, and then figure out what that means for the story.)

This is the first time I've started from an essentially blank slate in coming up with a book topic. Raoul was similar but I had more than the line above. I wasn't at all sure if I'd get anything.

I have 8 single-spaced pages of typed notes, and I have the following description.

Four years ago, Andrea was an unexpected marathon Olympic silver medalist. This year, more mature and better trained, the country expects her to bring home an easy gold. Instead, her failure to listen to herself and her own training needs results in a dreadful performance as she lets nerves and pressure destroy her. Her husband urges her to quit competing and take the cushy broadcasting job she's been offered, but she can't live with how she performed and longs to go back for one more try at Olympic glory. When she eventually decides to do just that, they separate.

Alone, she spends all her time training, supported by the one sponsor who didn't dump her after the games. Watching the winter Olympics, she is touched by the disastrous performance, and terrible handling thereof, of a young female skier, and reaches out to support the girl. The skier becomes the daughter Andrea never had, but Andrea can't keep the girl from self-destructing and eventually killing herself just months before Andrea's Olympics.

Devastated, Andrea again considers quitting but finally accepts that she's a competitor to the core. She runs her marathon, and is in second going into the final lap around the stadium. Her competitor looks back and sees her, and Andrea sees the woman's fear. Andrea doesn't have any fear. She knows what she has to do, and she draws on all the strength she's built bit by bit over the last four years and chases the woman down. The book ends with her just a few steps from the line, knowing it's hers, and hearing the loud whistle of her husband.

Do I love it? I'm not entirely sure. HOWEVER, it's a plot line. I think there are flaws, but this is four hours' worth of work.

More importantly, it's validation for the whole "take a few words and spend a day making a book from it, then make a new book tomorrow" concept.

When Mr. W comes home I'll get him to choose a new random number and start thinking about tomorrow's idea. For now, my brain's tired. :) So I'll ask you (and rest assured, I can handle rejection :) - would you read this book?

Back to reality

We go home tomorrow. I have LOVED this week away. The trick will be to keep taking time to relax and read and hang out with Mr. W while still getting our daily routine done.

My big task for next week is beginning to plan for the next book! Its code name is Aardvark, and I know absolutely nothing about it. :) This time, I'm trying a new system. I've been keeping a list of ideas for books, ranging from fairly solid concepts to a few words. I'm going to start each day with one idea, and spend the day playing with that idea and see what kind(s) of book it could be.

Then, the next day, I'll put it aside and go on to another idea. This, with any luck, will help me not get too panicky if an idea doesn't 'gel' right away. I did panic with Raoul, and in fact ended up ruining two previous ideas because I got so stressed about them. An idea doesn't become a full-formed book in a day, and this way I can't expect it to.

I will also go back to the gym, and will take time to decide exactly what I want and why in the 'body size' department. I'm strong and fit, but I'm fat too, and I need to decide what I want and then go after it with the same determination I go after my writing.

Finally, I'll stay out of my inboxes (email, Facebook, etc.) until 5pm or so each day, after my work day is complete. That will help me stay focused on Aardvark during the day while still keeping me in touch on a daily basis.

So, between now and next Friday:

• I will play around with at least four ideas. (I'd like to have five, but I commit to four. :) I haven't decided yet whether I'll blog them, but I do promise to do 'em!
• I will run three times, do at least one other workout, and spend at least one hour figuring out what I want from and for my body.
• I will check and empty my inboxes once daily, and process them completely while I'm in there.

Those are the biggies. I will also make sure I spend good time with Mr. W and with poor Sapphire who's been on her own all week except for twice-daily visits from our neighbour and friend, but if I reach the end of the week and can mark off the three things above, I will have kicked butt.

Two questions for you: a) what will YOU do this week that's a bit of a stretch for you? b) would you be interested in seeing the daily Aardvark progress?