I didn't want to show up this morning. I'm SO close to finishing Raoul, and while I love that, a part of me doesn't want it done. I had to force myself into my writing chair and I didn't want to stay once I got there.
I usually go off to Starbucks when I feel this way, but I decided to prove to myself that I can work at home even when the mood doesn't strike (and in fact when the mood is dancing away from me rather than striking). So I gave myself a little pep talk, remembering that I'm writing Raoul exactly as I want to and that I love it, and that even if nobody else on the planet likes it, I do and that's good enough.
It's hard as a trying-to-get-published writer to remember that sometimes. Rejection is everywhere, and while it's not supposed to be personal, when you've put your heart and soul (and six months or more of your life and constant attention) into a book and someone says no, it sure feels personal.
Today, I was able to let it feel personal and still work, and I'm proud of that. I revised the final scene today, and it still makes me cry even though I know what's coming, because I love how it turned out. A billion rejections couldn't take that away from me.
I think I'll do the epilogue tomorrow, and then next week I'll re-read it and send it to my sisters, good friend, and freelance editor (who's fabulous - Bev Katz Rosenbaum) for comments.
And then maybe I'll go to Starbucks, just to relax. :)